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Caroline Beuley's avatar

“Who is it turning you into” is sooo important! What you’re consuming seeps into your mind and actions. I’ve been watching a lot of housewives lately bc I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and it’s such easy watching but I swear it’s made me more confrontational and dramatic!

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

I have had this experience with housewives! But also somehow better at conflict resolution too.

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Caroline Beuley's avatar

Hahaha right?! It has made me less of afraid of conflict which sometimes can be a very good thing!

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mike's avatar

i think the food metaphor you put forth really rings true. ultimately, you are what you eat, and if all you consume is what feels good immediately, which is kind of like junk food, it will have a negative effect on you. really fun read!

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

Exactly!! But we also need a donut once in a while.

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BüGGY's avatar

Never not thinking about how what we consume alchemizes us. It's become a really fun practice for me - curating to read, to watch, to listen lists. Adjusting accordingly when my interests swerve in a different direction. Looking back and seeing what my attention naturally crowded around, noticing the patterns in my curiosity.

Enjoyed this, thank you!

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James McLoughlin's avatar

An excellent article. 'consumption isn’t just passive enjoyment—it’s dynamic, it answers back.' I love this - encapsulates the point I try to convey when I speak to people about this so well and concisely. I'm going to steal it. Thanks.

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

Take it! Thank you for reading. Glad it resonated.

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KJ Creegan's avatar

When I was pregnant, everything I consumed was low stakes or a rewatch. It calmed my nervous system and definitely served a purpose! I have a pretty chill baby possibly as a result of keeping things as calm as I could plus I was completely off social media the whole time and immediately postpartum. Loved reading this.

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

Love this! Makes total sense. Also going completely off social media during pregnancy and postpartum? Genius move.

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KJ Creegan's avatar

It was a great move for us!!! 💚

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Jazz Click's avatar

I had the exact same experience with my first and she is sooooo chill. I was less guarded while pregnant with my second and she is more naturally anxious and can seek drama. It could be a coincidence but I honestly don’t think so!

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KJ Creegan's avatar

That is so interesting!

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Brady Hill's avatar

Thought I'd drop the shining paragraph of this piece in the comments for one last read:

"So maybe it’s not just about what we consume, but how we let it metabolize. Some things hit instantly—a sugar rush of pleasure or catharsis. Others sit in the gut, slow-burning, quietly reshaping the way we see the world. And neither is inherently better—it’s about knowing what you need and when. A balanced diet isn’t just highbrow vs. lowbrow; it’s recognizing that every choice has an effect. Mainlining the news may have even influenced how you voted, depending on the source. That’s a remarkable implication."

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Caitlin McGuire's avatar

I'm a near constant 100 book checkout-er (and I preface this with saying that I have an English degree with honors from the best English program in the country and I have an MFA in creative writing - my reading diet is varied and good) and this is what that looks like: my son reads four books a day minimum (before bed) - that's 84 books in my 3 week checkout period. Let's say I'm only checking out half of those and the other half of his bedtime books are ones we have at home. I'll probably have another 10 books of nonfiction for him about something he wants to learn about but mostly see diagrams and stuff because he's four. That means I'm playing with 48 books for myself. 10 books of poetry, leaving 38, 20 books for research (books about art, or craft ideas for kids, books about interior design, etc), leaving 18. 3 movies, leaves 15. 3 audiobooks for the car, leaves 12. I'll check out 6 books to read, leaves 6. We'll check out 2 tonies, leaves 4. 2 activity kits, leaves 2. We'll check out a zoo pass when they have one available. That leaves 1 - maybe a board game? Radon detector? A cake pan?

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

Bless you for breaking this down with the precision of a scientist and the enthusiasm of a true book lover. I'm here for it. Deeply, deeply impressed by your entire household’s reading stamina—your son’s four-a-day habit alone is legendary. Also, the radon detector made me lol.

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Caitlin McGuire's avatar

Where other parents count down from 3 when a kid's misbehaving, we say "book" because if he doesn't get it together in three seconds, he'll lose a book that night. 😂 we realized it's the only punishment he's afraid of, and he's very well-behaved as a result.

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

Excited to vote for this child in the 2065 election.

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Tim DeMoss's avatar

this was fabulous - I’ve heard “you are what you read” before as a general idea, but this was a much more nuanced and insightful take that’ll stick with me I think. Thanks!

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

Ah, thank you! “You are what you read” always felt too simple for how weird and layered our reading habits actually are, so I’m happy this take landed. Appreciate you reading!

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Theon Ultima's avatar

People talk about “taste” like it’s just preference, but it’s closer to training imo. You can soften yourself with sitcoms or sharpen yourself with prestige TV but either way, you’re not walking out unchanged. Most of what people call personality is just the echo of their last hundred hours of input: what they’ve taken in, admired, mimicked, or absorbed

This piece get's it - that culture isn’t neutral, even moreso when it’s easy. Especially when it’s easy. A light show or casual book; these things wire your emotional responses, your conversational style, even the metaphors your mind reaches for unconsciously. Over time, they become an ambient script you start living out without thinking twice.

You don’t need to consume only “high art.” But pretending what you consume doesn’t shape you is like pretending diet has nothing to do with health.

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

Exactly.

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samhita's avatar

i wanted to be a lawyer after suits, I analyse people's outfits and make up stories about them because of a book i read at 14, i adopted the gone girl 'cool girl' monologue into my personality after watching that movie. i love the idea of giving art and media consumption agency because they are active figures shaping us and our lives - beautifully written!

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

This is exactly it!

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Karen Lee's avatar

Came across this in my feed and I'm glad I read it! Thanks for your writing!

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

Karen, thanks for reading!

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valentina's avatar

I binged Veep again last year and after two weeks I noticed my internal monologue was a lot meaner, especially towards coworkers. The show is hilarious but reinforced that not everything is meant to be binged, some shows are much better with a weekly release!

Sometimes it’s better to consume things sporadically, leave time to digest, let it mix with the other things you watch/read/ listen to so new ideas have other things to bounce off of as they form in your brain.

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

Yes!! Some things need space to breathe—Veep binged is basically a masterclass in unfiltered contempt. The mix is so key!

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virginia c's avatar

yes to all this. I often think of a quote from Ira Madison III's "Frank" newsletter post about his media consumption in early 2023: "Sometimes, what your brain doesn’t need is to be turned off, what it really needs is exercise, to be massaged, to be replenished with slices of life."

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

I love Ira! Great quote

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shrishti khanna's avatar

What you take in—whether it goes down smooth or sticks in your throat—alters the way you move through the world.

This was so thought provoking, thank youuu xx

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

Thank you Shrishti!! Happy you connected with it.

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Stephanie Jenson's avatar

That was a refreshing read and thanks for sharing your reading list. I might morph into those characters soon too lol. I've been thinking about this a lot recently and wrote a recent substack about it how the algorithm is taking over my own personality and blurring the lines. At this point, not sure what action was mine or what my phone intended it to be. Either way, it's an important question you asked- Who are you turning into? Here's my post on: I am my algorithm, if you want to take a peek, would love your thoughts: https://open.substack.com/pub/chaosandpoetry/p/i-am-my-algorithm?r=9e6ci&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

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Lisa Kholostenko's avatar

Thank you!! Interesting point that you mentioned all the generations scrolling through the same content. You don't think the algo tailors as soon as it gets a sense of your age?

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Stephanie Jenson's avatar

Well, then we see people like Mark Zuckerberg dressing up like Gen Z. I rest my case. In reality, we don't live with or have friends of all the same age groups. It's always a combination of it all, so I'd like to believe our algo does cross-pollinate. Just that the algo will just switch around based on our interests, it really isn't dependent on our age in that case.

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Morwen's avatar

A thought provoking read! Made me question why I love watching true crime docs and crime series🥲

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